1. Yesterday was the dress rehearsal for a performance i've been directing and which is being performed next week. I've been so stressed out for about 6 weeks now since I was given the task of director. Snapping at two performers I made one of the girls take off a piece of jewellery which she put on the side and subsequently forgot about. I felt bad about snapping but just carried on and we ran a dress rehearsal. It wasn't til the end of the day she realised she was so stressed out she forgot to pick it up. I FELT AWFUL. I felt like it was all my fault. Spending all last night and today worrying/calling up uni lost property/trying to buy her a new ring/apologising/crying and feeling like a mega b*tch for snapping at her to take it off. Luckily it was found. PHEW.
Made me realise I shouldn't snap at innocent people and take my stress out on them. This girl is an incredible hardworker, and a good friend. I feel like I needed that to happen to realise being authoritative and making a statement doesn't have to mean being a bossy b*tch. Although misplacing the jewellery wasn't my fault, because I had made her remove it in a bossy way when it wasn't even a big deal made me feel like it was my fault.
2. I walked into town and had a coffee with a friend. We both had the yummiest gingerbread lattes and sat for a while in the warm discussing life and our problems. I fully look up to my friend, she's a massive inspiration..she's been through a lot yet she faces everyday with a positive and cheery outlook. She's always bubbly and happy and I can't say i have ever seen her down. My problems are minuscule compared to hers, and it goes to show how everybody has to deal with crap sometimes. I feel like I needed to experience that and see and hear what she goes through in order to put my life into perspective.
3. I went out in the evening to a nightclub with friends. Having a few drinks I was really enjoying the night until I decided I would spend the entirity staring after/making a scene with a boy who I like who CLEARLY doesn't like me back. I made myself look like an idiot and acted in a foolish manner. I ended up going home early and felt like I had ruined a great night with friends..not to mention I absolutely put across such a frosty side when any male gave me attention.
I feel like I needed that to show me how I need to seriously grow up and stop acting like a needy desperate girl. I should enjoy spending time with friends, take things chilled and just let things happen naturally. You can't force someone to like you.
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